There’s a strange kind of relationship that exists in the in-between.
It’s not friendship.
…It is love.
But not the kind you can claim out loud.
You shouldn’t love them.
You’re not supposed to, so when someone asks you what’s going on… how on earth are you supposed to explain it?
Because it’s the kind where, technically, you’re not together.
They’re not yours.
You’re not theirs.
And yet, somehow… they still manage to influence your every move, thought and emotion.
You check your phone more than you’d like to admit.
A message from them can brighten your day entirely, while silence from them can quietly unravel you, leaving you in tears.
You find yourself overthinking small things; the tone of a text, how long it took them to respond, whether they seemed a little distant the last time you spoke…
The fact that they told you I love you… but did they mean it romantically, as a friend or who even knows?
And here’s the confusing part… there’s no real commitment holding this relationship together.
There never has been.
No defined relationship.
No clear expectations.
Just feelings that have never been named.
So you continue arranging pieces of your life around someone who quite frankly has never, and may never, arrange a single piece of their life around yours.
Because they’re not yours.
The don’t want to be.
And deep down, you know, they never will be.
Sometimes the hardest part is realising that the person occupying so much of your life may have just been stringing you along, all along for their own selfish gain.
Because you…
You think you’re almost dating,
Almost committed,
Almost have clarity.
Yet that “almost” can be one of the most exhausting places to live in.
Because the truth is, letting someone have that much influence over you when they haven’t actually chosen you robs you of your peace.
And as you look back, you realise you’ve given someone the power to shape your world without them ever actually stepping into it.
But here’s something important, and freeing, to know:
Just because someone has occupied your whole world, doesn’t mean they have to occupy your whole future too.
Because one day, the right kind of relationship won’t leave you guessing where you stand.
And the right person won’t just influence your thoughts and emotions.
They’ll stand beside you clearly, intentionally, and without confusion.
Many Blessings, Grace. Xx
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